What does your teenage (tweenage) daughter need to feel more grounded right now?

As these tough times continue, it’s important for your daughter to pay attention to how she’s feeling and practice guiding her thoughts in a constructive and productive direction.

In order to deal effectively with what’s going on, my clients are asking for:

• ideas to combat the anger and boredom resulting from the corona virus outbreak
• tools to establish new, resilience-building habits

Two of the biggest concern’s are:

• my daughter seems angry and is blaming me for everything
• the power her phone has over her mood is frustrating and a bit scary

So, I’d like to invite you to weave a few new habits into her daily life.

2 Simple “Happiness Building” Tools:

1. Thought Mapping

You’ll want to figure out what’s driving her anger so you can find a solution.

Keep in mind that anger is usually driven by a deeper, more difficult emotion, like sadness or disappointment.

The best way to find an effective “antidote” to her anger, is to discover where she’s hurting.

Ask your daughter to write down and answer these 3 questions:

– What are you angry about right now?

– What is it about this event / situation / person that’s making you mad?

– Which emotion do you really dislike feeling or is the hardest to manage?

2. Daily Self Check 

Your daughter’s phone is likely the gateway to her social connections, and her solution to boredom right now, so she may be overly attached to her device.

Let’s encourage her to stay connected to her emotions and her needs by doing a daily self-check so she doesn’t inadvertently sabotage her mood.

Ask your daughter to write down and answer these 3 questions:

– My happy place is _____________.

– When I go to this site or source (fill in the blank) ___________ I feel as good as I do in my happy place.

– On the flip side, when I go to this site or source (fill in the blank) __________, I notice my mood dip and I start feeling bad about myself.

Remember, these questions are meant to be exploratory and help your daughter see the bigger picture.

“You can’t go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending.” ~ C.S. Lewis

-Shawna B. Warner, MSW, is a parent & teen coach at Cultivating Resilient Teens. She helps parents to empower their teenage daughters to build confidence, integrity and resilience for all of life's adventures. Find out more on her web site www.cultivatingresilientteens.com.